Animals That Have Attacked Me in Order of How Exotic They Are(All True).

  1. Cat

  2. Dog

  3. Chickadee

  4. Raccoon

  5. Snapping Turtle (too slow)

  6. Owl (Same owl, on three separate occasions. We still talk sometimes)

  7. Micro Pig

  8. Ostrich (I will never return to that Farm)

  9. Dolphin (I consider any wild marine animal weighing over 100lbs that gets within a 4 foot vicinity of me to be an act of aggression)

  10. Tui bird (Pictured to the side, did not appreciate my comments about “having a ballsack under its chin”)

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